Loneliness and me

I was born alone and I know I will die alone. What I cannot do is live without someone near to me these days. Being with someone for a long time without separation, be it night or day made me addicted that I am finding difficulty in staying all alone. The past hunts me. The present disturbs me. The future worries me.  I regret about the past. I mistrust the present. I don’t seem to believe in future because future is always unpredictable. I may sound filmy and I know that I am filmy and everyone is filmy because we are always haunted by past, worried of future and are never in the present world. If we ever be living in the present then we are Buddha the enlightened. I feel that we are not even in present for a fraction of second. That is the reason we hate people because we think of the past what they did to us. That is why I fell in love, you fell in love and so does everyone. But why do I feel loneliness if I am not living in the present because the past and the future are always accompanied by some one?

It was because I was in love. I fell in love. I slept in the name of love. I ate in the name of love. I laughed in the name of love. I grew in the name of love. I enjoyed in the name of love. I suffered in the name of love. Today, love does not exist for me. I don’t love neither I hate. I am not happy neither sad. Today, I don’t enjoy neither I suffer. I learnt that love, happiness, joy, hate, sadness and enjoyment are all results of the past and future. That’s why I feel loneliness and loneliness is accompanying me. Loneliness has become part of me because I believe in him. I believe that the happiest moments are when I am alone and when loneliness 
 accompanies me. The loneliness will accompany me when I take my last breathe on this earth. Not my parents, not my friends, not my loved ones, not anyone can accompany me at my last breathe because I was born accompanied by loneliness.